Things aren't always going to be alright, and that's alright

I love running. There is nothing like turning up the music while your feet hit the pavement to its cadence. There's a little bounce as you propel forward. The wind on your face, wind that you created, is incomparable. For about 30 seconds, then the tightness begins. Your chest feels like it's collapsing in on itself. You can't catch your breath. The thudding feeling starts, it's way too fast. You slow down, hoping that your heart will get the message and do the same. The earth monitor must be wrong, my pulse can't be 170 only 1 minute into a little exercise. It's not a sprint. Is it too much to ask to go for a run? To enjoy this gorgeous morning? Next the blackness starts closing in and you know that if you don't get flat on your own right now, your body will do it for you. So you sit, on the ground, next to the treadmill, on the curb, wherever you happen to be. You curse yourself for wanting something because wanting things is only detrimental to your spirit. When it starts to clear you drag yourself back to your hole and spend the rest of the day berating yourself for wanting to do what the normal people do. But despite the fact that you know you will just repeat this process again next time, you still look longingly at your running shoes every time you decided not to punish yourself today for loving something you obviously weren't meant to have.

My favorite quote is "I will find a way, or I will make one". I have yet to find a way to run, or really to live a normal life. I really really want to be active. My soul craves it, but my body can't handle it. I'm posting this because I am hoping that someone out there will find this in the middle of their own struggle and know that they aren't the only one. 

I want to challenge myself and anyone reading this to embrace those things that you love that seem as if they aren't meant for you. Look at those running shoes and know that even if you aren't meant to have them, there's no way in hell you aren't going to try.